Hey Charlie Fat Ass

November 4, 2007

Wipe your fucking nose you fat fuck.  Oh, and HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Hey college football media, take Georgia Tech’s d-coordinator Jon Tenuda’s cock out of your mouth.   Getting destroyed by a 110+ offense at home is pathetic.

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Edition 20071018

October 18, 2007

Here we go with a new number 1. With November just around the corner the first of the 2007 firings is not far away.

Dave Wannstedt, Pittsburgh: This team is bad. Real bad. What’s worse is fans aren’t even going to the games. Wannstedt won in his first year as head coach of the Chicago Bears, and hasn’t won since. There was no reason to even interview him for this job.

Greg Robinson, Syracuse: My oh my, what will happen if Syracuse loses at home to the Buffalo Bulls? Syracuse has been giving up frightening amounts of yards on the ground this season and the Bulls’ James Starks has been running very well lately. 244 yards last week, 183 the week before to be exact. Again, like Pittsburgh, people expect more out of Syracuse than we’ve seen during the Greg Robinson era.

Karl Dorrell, UCLA: The window of opportunity exists in Los Angeles for someone else to ascend to the throne. Pete Carroll’s magic touch is fading. He’s got to be smart enough to see that. Sometimes being able to land every five star recruit you want isn’t such a good thing. USC is proving that. That’s simply too many prima donnas wearing the same uniform. Given this UCLA needs to make a choice. Do they reach for the ring or do they merely accept more Nut Bowl losses in the years to come?

Tommy Bowden, Clemson: Clemson is a former national champion you know. Just listen to their fans. Forget about how many recruiting violations it took to win that title or the fact that championship trophy is nearly 30 years old. Tommy is never going to win the big game at Clemson. If he couldn’t do it with good college quarterbacks or great college running backs he’ll never get it done. The question is for the Tiger fans, is the Mickey Mouse Bowl good enough? Is the Dollywood Bowl good enough? If those bowl games are satisfying for you then keep Tommy around.

Chan Galey, Georgia Tech: Chan has only lasted this long thanks to riding hard on the backs of Tashard Choice and Calvin Johnson. Everyone was marveling at your superiority after the 33 – 3 drubbing of Notre Dame, but now it seems you should have been able to win by a lot more that day. My honest feeling is that Chan is very unlikely to be fired any time soon. But if that is the case the Yellow Jackets will be mired in mediocrity until he is gone.

Sylvester Croom, Mississippi State: You know, I’m actually tired of talking about him. At this point I’m more in favor of Mississippi State disbanding their football team. It’s not like Mississippi State is some kind of crown jewel of academia. Even Vanderbilt has managed to put together a solid team with their educational superiority. For the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster you’re in the SEC, all you have to do win seven games in that conference and the media will be slurping at your lap as a national championship contender.

Others on their way out: Lloyd Carr, Michigan: you damn well better find a way to beat Ohio State this year if you want your job next year. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa: you will survive this season, but next year you’re serious trouble.

My weekly picks have been nothing short horrible so far. So here is this week’s round of money losers.

MARYLAND -4.5 over uva: The Cav’s top rusher is out for the game + they generally play horrible on road + they are barely squeaking out wins against the middle of the road teams = A win for the Terps.

LSU -11.5 over auburn: Tommy Tuberville generally plays better on the road than at home. But nobody plays well against LSU at night in Baton Rouge. LSU should come in rather perturbed after losing the overtime game to Kentucky. I expect a rather serious beat down of the War Eagle.

cincinnati -9.5 over PITTSBURGH: The Panthers haven’t been able to score much on teams that have average defenses. Cincinnati doesn’t have just an average defense. Pitts biggest hope for this game is the Bearcats coming in bummed out over their loss to Louisville. I don’t see that being enough. Cincinnati still has the Big East title in their own hands, but they have to keep winning. If they drop this game their upcoming matchup with South Florida becomes meaningless.

stanford +10.5 over ARIZONA: Mike Stoops is another dead coach walking. Don’t be fooled by a close game with the Trojans.

oregon -11 over WASHINGTON: Oregon is another team with reason to keep playing hard. Win out and they will likely sneak away with a PAC-10 title. The Ducks are one of the more fun teams to watch on offense with Dennis Dixon running the controls. Ty’s Huskies have beaten Boise St (before they got rolling) and Syracuse so far this year. Their only other close game was a home loss to USC.

FSU -5.5 over miami: FSU is the same as they have been for the last 3 or 4 seasons. Strong defense and meh on offense. I can’t even tell you what Miami has these days. One week they’re giving up a megaton of yards and points to Oklahoma then next they look like they’ve turned a corner against Texas A&M and then they struggle with Duke. It should be close, but not a wide right kinda close.

army +26 over GEORGIA TECH: Look Army ain’t winning this game, but they are playing tough close games. All GT has on offense is Tashard Choice and they are running him into the ground (37, 32, 32 carries in the last three weeks). If they end up having to run Choice 30+ times again this week that’s bad news for their upcoming game on November 1st with Virginia Tech.

1. Mike Stoops, Arizona: Mikey, are you doing ok after this weekend? Man, that first quarter must have really hurt. Your defensive genius gave up 45 points to Cal, 28 in the first quarter. How many would Cal have hung on the board if they didn’t call off the dogs after the first fifteen minutes?

2. Greg Robinson, Syracuse: Congratulations Greg. Awesome job this weekend. You and your Orangemen became the NCAA’s biggest ever point spread upset champions. This game was just a little bit of a surprise as I thought Louisville would come into the game hung over from their defeat to Kentucky the previous week, but I certainly didn’t expect UofL to rollover and die like that.

3. Sylvester Croom, Mississippi State: Well well, for the first time since 2004 you’ve won back to back games. That’s some awesome stuff there Sly. But other than UAB coming to town in a couple weeks the rest of your schedule should leave you slayed, flayed and fileted.

4. Tommy Tuberville, Auburn: You won by five touchdowns. That’s outstanding. You won by five touchdowns over New Mexico State. That’s expected. You were losing in the 2nd quarter to New Mexico State. That’s pathetic. The always reliable intartube rumors have you heading to Texas A&M for next season. At this point I know of a few Auburn alumni who are willing to help you move.

5. Lloyd Carr, Michigan: One thing pleases me nearly as much as seeing Notre Dame get beat. And that is seeing Penn State get beat. I nearly moved you off the list altogether for that win this weekend, but once Ohio State comes calling for you in November it’s curtains for you mug.

 

 

Wildcards:

Charlie Weis, Notre Dame: On a positive note you broke a 119 year old record this week. The bad news is the Giants won this weekend. That’ll make it a little harder for Coughlin to get fired for you. What does your future hold? A real legit possibility of going 0 – 8 to start the year, and a not that huge of a reach of going 0 – 12 for the season. How will Touchdown Jesus feel about losing to Navy and/or Duke?

 

Mike Leach, Texas Tech: Whoopidee doo, you sure can run up some awesome passing numbers, but you just can’t win dude. Time for this circus pack up and move on.

 

Norv Turner, San Diego Chargers: Seriously, I don’t know who to fire first in this situation. Norv or whoever came up with the bright idea of even interviewing him. Did you see LT nearly crying at the post game press conference? That’s the only power Norv Turner has as a head coach.