20071107: WTFUCLA Edition

November 7, 2007

Dennis Franchione, Texas A&M: All the smoke in Texas Station points to a new sheriff coming town. If you read between the lines of the smoke signals it says Tommy Tuberville has saddled up and started heading west. Franchione’s cupcake inspired success from 2006 just wasn’t enough to please the people paying the bills.

Bill Callahan, Nebraska: 76, nuff said.  The only question is who will Tom Osbourne hire. After firing Frank Solich a few years back Nebraska has lost its place as a glamor job.

Greg Robinson , Syracuse: A loss to terrible Pittsburgh. They only question should be at this point is who will be replacing Robinson. If, for whatever brain damaged reason, Syracuse keeps Robinson around another year take it as a sign they have abandoned their football program.

Dave Wannstedt, Pittsburgh: Yea, you beat Syracuse. You gave them a devastating 20-17 stomping with an awesome 10 point fourth quarter comeback. You had no turnovers, a running back with 140 yards only four penalties and you still had to make a fourth quarter run against one of the worst teams in all of D1A.

Ed Orgeron, Mississippi: Yep, you won too. Barely. Against 3 – 6 D1AA Northwestern State. Now you get to be fodder for LSU and, if it’s even possible, fodder for Mississippi State.

Mike Leech, Texas Tech: Woo hoo you won too. Once again you proved what a powerhouse you are against perpetual doormats. Somehow only beating Baylor by 31 seems a little disappointing for you. I think it’s safe to say at this point with games at Texas and home versus Oklahoma your wins for 2007 are behind you. Maybe you’ll luck into a bowl game with the Sun Belt champs and can have a good showing.

Mike Stoops, Arizona: Yet another winner on the list. Now all you have to do to get to a bowl game is win out against Oregon and Arizona State.

Karl Dorrell, UCLA: UCLA has lost 3 of 4 with their only win being against Cal. That of course coming after they lost to Notre Dame. They are in true need of adding a WTF to the front of their initials. WTFUCLA has a good ring to it don’t ya think? You need to pluck one win from games against Oregon, Arizona State and @USC to get to a bowl game. I don’t think anyone would be surprised if you lost all three or somehow managed to win one or two of those. WTFUCLA is a rudderless ship sailing at the mercy of the winds and currents.

Others of note: Chunky Weis with his runny nose. About half of the ACC should be looking for new employment including Duke, Maryland, Georgia Tech, Clemson, and Miami might as well start their next search.

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Edition 20071018

October 18, 2007

Here we go with a new number 1. With November just around the corner the first of the 2007 firings is not far away.

Dave Wannstedt, Pittsburgh: This team is bad. Real bad. What’s worse is fans aren’t even going to the games. Wannstedt won in his first year as head coach of the Chicago Bears, and hasn’t won since. There was no reason to even interview him for this job.

Greg Robinson, Syracuse: My oh my, what will happen if Syracuse loses at home to the Buffalo Bulls? Syracuse has been giving up frightening amounts of yards on the ground this season and the Bulls’ James Starks has been running very well lately. 244 yards last week, 183 the week before to be exact. Again, like Pittsburgh, people expect more out of Syracuse than we’ve seen during the Greg Robinson era.

Karl Dorrell, UCLA: The window of opportunity exists in Los Angeles for someone else to ascend to the throne. Pete Carroll’s magic touch is fading. He’s got to be smart enough to see that. Sometimes being able to land every five star recruit you want isn’t such a good thing. USC is proving that. That’s simply too many prima donnas wearing the same uniform. Given this UCLA needs to make a choice. Do they reach for the ring or do they merely accept more Nut Bowl losses in the years to come?

Tommy Bowden, Clemson: Clemson is a former national champion you know. Just listen to their fans. Forget about how many recruiting violations it took to win that title or the fact that championship trophy is nearly 30 years old. Tommy is never going to win the big game at Clemson. If he couldn’t do it with good college quarterbacks or great college running backs he’ll never get it done. The question is for the Tiger fans, is the Mickey Mouse Bowl good enough? Is the Dollywood Bowl good enough? If those bowl games are satisfying for you then keep Tommy around.

Chan Galey, Georgia Tech: Chan has only lasted this long thanks to riding hard on the backs of Tashard Choice and Calvin Johnson. Everyone was marveling at your superiority after the 33 – 3 drubbing of Notre Dame, but now it seems you should have been able to win by a lot more that day. My honest feeling is that Chan is very unlikely to be fired any time soon. But if that is the case the Yellow Jackets will be mired in mediocrity until he is gone.

Sylvester Croom, Mississippi State: You know, I’m actually tired of talking about him. At this point I’m more in favor of Mississippi State disbanding their football team. It’s not like Mississippi State is some kind of crown jewel of academia. Even Vanderbilt has managed to put together a solid team with their educational superiority. For the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster you’re in the SEC, all you have to do win seven games in that conference and the media will be slurping at your lap as a national championship contender.

Others on their way out: Lloyd Carr, Michigan: you damn well better find a way to beat Ohio State this year if you want your job next year. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa: you will survive this season, but next year you’re serious trouble.

My weekly picks have been nothing short horrible so far. So here is this week’s round of money losers.

MARYLAND -4.5 over uva: The Cav’s top rusher is out for the game + they generally play horrible on road + they are barely squeaking out wins against the middle of the road teams = A win for the Terps.

LSU -11.5 over auburn: Tommy Tuberville generally plays better on the road than at home. But nobody plays well against LSU at night in Baton Rouge. LSU should come in rather perturbed after losing the overtime game to Kentucky. I expect a rather serious beat down of the War Eagle.

cincinnati -9.5 over PITTSBURGH: The Panthers haven’t been able to score much on teams that have average defenses. Cincinnati doesn’t have just an average defense. Pitts biggest hope for this game is the Bearcats coming in bummed out over their loss to Louisville. I don’t see that being enough. Cincinnati still has the Big East title in their own hands, but they have to keep winning. If they drop this game their upcoming matchup with South Florida becomes meaningless.

stanford +10.5 over ARIZONA: Mike Stoops is another dead coach walking. Don’t be fooled by a close game with the Trojans.

oregon -11 over WASHINGTON: Oregon is another team with reason to keep playing hard. Win out and they will likely sneak away with a PAC-10 title. The Ducks are one of the more fun teams to watch on offense with Dennis Dixon running the controls. Ty’s Huskies have beaten Boise St (before they got rolling) and Syracuse so far this year. Their only other close game was a home loss to USC.

FSU -5.5 over miami: FSU is the same as they have been for the last 3 or 4 seasons. Strong defense and meh on offense. I can’t even tell you what Miami has these days. One week they’re giving up a megaton of yards and points to Oklahoma then next they look like they’ve turned a corner against Texas A&M and then they struggle with Duke. It should be close, but not a wide right kinda close.

army +26 over GEORGIA TECH: Look Army ain’t winning this game, but they are playing tough close games. All GT has on offense is Tashard Choice and they are running him into the ground (37, 32, 32 carries in the last three weeks). If they end up having to run Choice 30+ times again this week that’s bad news for their upcoming game on November 1st with Virginia Tech.