20071107: WTFUCLA Edition

November 7, 2007

Dennis Franchione, Texas A&M: All the smoke in Texas Station points to a new sheriff coming town. If you read between the lines of the smoke signals it says Tommy Tuberville has saddled up and started heading west. Franchione’s cupcake inspired success from 2006 just wasn’t enough to please the people paying the bills.

Bill Callahan, Nebraska: 76, nuff said.  The only question is who will Tom Osbourne hire. After firing Frank Solich a few years back Nebraska has lost its place as a glamor job.

Greg Robinson , Syracuse: A loss to terrible Pittsburgh. They only question should be at this point is who will be replacing Robinson. If, for whatever brain damaged reason, Syracuse keeps Robinson around another year take it as a sign they have abandoned their football program.

Dave Wannstedt, Pittsburgh: Yea, you beat Syracuse. You gave them a devastating 20-17 stomping with an awesome 10 point fourth quarter comeback. You had no turnovers, a running back with 140 yards only four penalties and you still had to make a fourth quarter run against one of the worst teams in all of D1A.

Ed Orgeron, Mississippi: Yep, you won too. Barely. Against 3 – 6 D1AA Northwestern State. Now you get to be fodder for LSU and, if it’s even possible, fodder for Mississippi State.

Mike Leech, Texas Tech: Woo hoo you won too. Once again you proved what a powerhouse you are against perpetual doormats. Somehow only beating Baylor by 31 seems a little disappointing for you. I think it’s safe to say at this point with games at Texas and home versus Oklahoma your wins for 2007 are behind you. Maybe you’ll luck into a bowl game with the Sun Belt champs and can have a good showing.

Mike Stoops, Arizona: Yet another winner on the list. Now all you have to do to get to a bowl game is win out against Oregon and Arizona State.

Karl Dorrell, UCLA: UCLA has lost 3 of 4 with their only win being against Cal. That of course coming after they lost to Notre Dame. They are in true need of adding a WTF to the front of their initials. WTFUCLA has a good ring to it don’t ya think? You need to pluck one win from games against Oregon, Arizona State and @USC to get to a bowl game. I don’t think anyone would be surprised if you lost all three or somehow managed to win one or two of those. WTFUCLA is a rudderless ship sailing at the mercy of the winds and currents.

Others of note: Chunky Weis with his runny nose. About half of the ACC should be looking for new employment including Duke, Maryland, Georgia Tech, Clemson, and Miami might as well start their next search.

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Farewell Sly Croom

October 30, 2007

Nope, Sly, you’re not leaving us in the way I had imagined. But with a win on the road at Kentucky you’ve been cleared for another of chasing that elusive .500 mark, and {GASP} a bowl game.

Dave Wannstedt, Pittsburgh: Yep, another loss. This time around to Louisville who is Brian Brohm away from being Syracuse. The good news is you’re currently tied with South Florida in the Big East. Which about three weeks ago would have been awesome.

Greg Robinson, Syracuse: Nothing is better than two weeks of basking in the glory of a 20 – 12 win over mighty Buffalo. At least you had extra time to prepare for this weekend’s epic battle of suckitude with Pittsburgh. This game could set the sport back to age of leather helmets.

Mike Stoops, Arizona: Holy shit you won a game. And scored 22 in the fourth quarter to do it. Did Washington go into a prevent defense? Fuck if I know. It’s not like any sports fan from this planet would have actively made an effort to find, let alone watch, this game.

Ed Orgeron: Mississippi: I guess it’s time to start winterizing the football equipment for the Rebels after this weekend. Saturday’s huge Northwestern State match up is the last chance for a win this year for old Ed. This is actually a huge game for Ed. Given the extreme unlikeliness of beating either Mississippi State or LSU a win over Northwestern State (you go look up their nickname) would push Ed’s career win mark into double digits. Not bad for three seasons huh?

Mike Leech, Texas Tech: Boy howdy you sure do know how to run it up and down the field against Northwestern State, hey, didn’t I just talk about them?, and Rice. However, as I have said before Texas Tech with Mike Leech does not show up when it matters. Period. Never have, never will. His coaching skills might work great in the WAC or MAC or D1AA, but it doesn’t get the job in BCS land. The only good news for Leech is Baylor is up next, but then it’s Texas and Oklahoma.