20071107: WTFUCLA Edition

November 7, 2007

Dennis Franchione, Texas A&M: All the smoke in Texas Station points to a new sheriff coming town. If you read between the lines of the smoke signals it says Tommy Tuberville has saddled up and started heading west. Franchione’s cupcake inspired success from 2006 just wasn’t enough to please the people paying the bills.

Bill Callahan, Nebraska: 76, nuff said.  The only question is who will Tom Osbourne hire. After firing Frank Solich a few years back Nebraska has lost its place as a glamor job.

Greg Robinson , Syracuse: A loss to terrible Pittsburgh. They only question should be at this point is who will be replacing Robinson. If, for whatever brain damaged reason, Syracuse keeps Robinson around another year take it as a sign they have abandoned their football program.

Dave Wannstedt, Pittsburgh: Yea, you beat Syracuse. You gave them a devastating 20-17 stomping with an awesome 10 point fourth quarter comeback. You had no turnovers, a running back with 140 yards only four penalties and you still had to make a fourth quarter run against one of the worst teams in all of D1A.

Ed Orgeron, Mississippi: Yep, you won too. Barely. Against 3 – 6 D1AA Northwestern State. Now you get to be fodder for LSU and, if it’s even possible, fodder for Mississippi State.

Mike Leech, Texas Tech: Woo hoo you won too. Once again you proved what a powerhouse you are against perpetual doormats. Somehow only beating Baylor by 31 seems a little disappointing for you. I think it’s safe to say at this point with games at Texas and home versus Oklahoma your wins for 2007 are behind you. Maybe you’ll luck into a bowl game with the Sun Belt champs and can have a good showing.

Mike Stoops, Arizona: Yet another winner on the list. Now all you have to do to get to a bowl game is win out against Oregon and Arizona State.

Karl Dorrell, UCLA: UCLA has lost 3 of 4 with their only win being against Cal. That of course coming after they lost to Notre Dame. They are in true need of adding a WTF to the front of their initials. WTFUCLA has a good ring to it don’t ya think? You need to pluck one win from games against Oregon, Arizona State and @USC to get to a bowl game. I don’t think anyone would be surprised if you lost all three or somehow managed to win one or two of those. WTFUCLA is a rudderless ship sailing at the mercy of the winds and currents.

Others of note: Chunky Weis with his runny nose. About half of the ACC should be looking for new employment including Duke, Maryland, Georgia Tech, Clemson, and Miami might as well start their next search.

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Farewell Sly Croom

October 30, 2007

Nope, Sly, you’re not leaving us in the way I had imagined. But with a win on the road at Kentucky you’ve been cleared for another of chasing that elusive .500 mark, and {GASP} a bowl game.

Dave Wannstedt, Pittsburgh: Yep, another loss. This time around to Louisville who is Brian Brohm away from being Syracuse. The good news is you’re currently tied with South Florida in the Big East. Which about three weeks ago would have been awesome.

Greg Robinson, Syracuse: Nothing is better than two weeks of basking in the glory of a 20 – 12 win over mighty Buffalo. At least you had extra time to prepare for this weekend’s epic battle of suckitude with Pittsburgh. This game could set the sport back to age of leather helmets.

Mike Stoops, Arizona: Holy shit you won a game. And scored 22 in the fourth quarter to do it. Did Washington go into a prevent defense? Fuck if I know. It’s not like any sports fan from this planet would have actively made an effort to find, let alone watch, this game.

Ed Orgeron: Mississippi: I guess it’s time to start winterizing the football equipment for the Rebels after this weekend. Saturday’s huge Northwestern State match up is the last chance for a win this year for old Ed. This is actually a huge game for Ed. Given the extreme unlikeliness of beating either Mississippi State or LSU a win over Northwestern State (you go look up their nickname) would push Ed’s career win mark into double digits. Not bad for three seasons huh?

Mike Leech, Texas Tech: Boy howdy you sure do know how to run it up and down the field against Northwestern State, hey, didn’t I just talk about them?, and Rice. However, as I have said before Texas Tech with Mike Leech does not show up when it matters. Period. Never have, never will. His coaching skills might work great in the WAC or MAC or D1AA, but it doesn’t get the job in BCS land. The only good news for Leech is Baylor is up next, but then it’s Texas and Oklahoma.

Edition 10.22.2007

October 22, 2007

Good job Georgia Tech. You managed to run Tashard Choice right out of the line up. Oh well, it’s not like the rest of the football world has anything fear from anyone in the ACC.

So how about my list? Greg Robinson won, Dave Wannstedt won, Karl Dorrell won, Tommy Bowden won, Chan Galey won those are turning out about as good as my point spread picks.

Dave Wannstedt, Pittsburgh: Still topping my list. It really is not a good sign when a team finally wins a game when the head coach is not on the sidelines. There isn’t much bad you can say after win, but the number of empty seats at this game against a top 25 opponent were just astonishing. For god’s sake people, they play their games off campus so the student should actually be able to buy beer at the games. College football is a revenue generating entity. It is this revenue that makes other sports possible that only Christine Brennan can love. If you can’t get people coming to the games you have got to get out.

Greg Robinson, Syracuse: Copy and pase from above, search for Pittsburgh and replace with Syracuse. There was a sign at this game versus Buffalo that said something along the lines of “Hey c’mon, it’s Buffalo.” This says a lot in a couple ways. One, Buffalo is not the cliche horrible Buffalo of the past. And two, Syracuse is trying to find some pride in beating a MACtastic team that is struggling to reach bowl eligibility. In a game where Buffalo was down only one score late the stands looking more like attendance for a girls field hockey championship game than a BCS conference football game played by Jim Brown’s alma mater.

Mike Stoops, Arizona: A fourth quarter loss to Stanford? Well, I guess losing to Stanford isn’t that big a deal anymore. The Cardinal really seem to have turned the corner to being a tough team. Well Mikey, all you have to do to get to a bowl game this year is win out. Four straight wins over Washington, UCLA, Oregon and Arizona State seems reasonable huh? Dude, you are so done.

Ed Orgeron, Mississippi: Yeesh, you think Ole Miss wants to rethink dumping David Cutliffe for having one bad season? Cutliffe put up respectable 7, 8 and 10 win seasons over his first 5 years only to have a 4 winner sneak in there in year six. But I guess that’s how the SEC does things. Now the Rebels are looking at another 3 to 4 win season. Things are bad for ya there Ed. You hung tough with ‘bama and Florida, but that’s not enough.

Sly Croom, Mississippi State: It’s hard to believe you actually won 4 out of 5 game earlier this season. It must have seemed eons ago when West Virginia went up 31 – 0 with two minutes to go in the first quarter. There is really nothing left here for Croom to prove. He has not, is not and will not get it done with Mississippi State. The Bulldogs need to cut their losses.

Earlier today on ESPN radio Boston College head coach Jeff Jagodzinski tempted fate by saying the Virginia Tech crowd won’t affect their game this Thursday night. I have been to games at Lane Stadium, and I have been to many games at many other stadiums. Some other Stadiums come close, but Lane Stadium is waaaaayyyy up there at the top for fan insanity. There have been times at Lane Stadium that make you wonder what is wrong with these people that they make this much noise. I was there in 2001 when the Hokies had a horrible offensive performance going on but somehow managed to stay close with a top ranked Miami. Then Eric Green blocked a punt. I can tell you that was the single loudest moment I have ever experienced in a stadium. Ever. There were people screaming so loud they were falling off the bleacher seats, on which of course they were standing. I was there in 2003 when Miami came to town again and proceeded to get gutted by the Hokie defense. That entire game the stadium was rock concert kinda loud. This year’s Hokies have been flying well under the radar mainly due to yet another horrible offense, but ask Tommy Bowden if Virginia Tech needs offense to win a game. Coach Jeff, if you have never experienced a football game in Blacksburg, if you are not truly familiar with the Hokie fans, when you chose to make that comment, you may not have chosen wisely.