October 9, 2007
Yeah, my picks sucked the other day. Fuck you. Now on to death row.
1. Mike Stoops, Arizona: Nice job keeping Oregon State from scoring twice as much as you, but that doesn’t help your need for four more wins to be bowl eligible. With the reality of being an underdog for every game on the rest of your schedule (well, maybe you’ll be a pick ‘em with UCLA) your time is up is desert. Arizona is in a hopeless situation. They are so far behind the rest of the conference in football they might as well disband the team.
2. Greg Robinson, Syracuse: Yep, that win of Louisville is looking less and less impressive with each passing week. Clearly your team is more like the one WVU just ran over like a NASCAR Chevy over a paralyzed bunny. Syracuse would do well to cut ties now and use that for recruiting momentum. The Big East is wide open to get a BCS bid. Especially once White and Slaton leave WVU.
3. Slyvester Croom, Mississippi State: Congrats to you Sly. A personal best 4th win of the year for you. You’re two wins away from being bowl eligible. Now all you have to do is find two wins among your remaining games with Tennessee, @WVU, @Kentucky, Alabama, @Arkansas and Mississippi. Good luck with that. Remember what I said about the Arizona team? Same applies here.
4. Carl Dorrell, UCLA: You lost to ND. Normally, that’s no big deal. Except in a year when it was a foregone conclusion that Notre Dame was heading and 0 – 8 start and possibly going to have to trouble winning against Duke and Navy. If you hadn’t stolen away a win against USC at the end of last year you’d be heading back to being some worthless position coach come this December. The loss to the Domers was a huge embarrassment. Bigger than getting gutted at Utah earlier this year.
5a. Tommy Bowden, Clemson: How can this guy still be at Clemson? We’ve seen this story how many times? One big win (this year versus FSU) and the state of South Carolina thinks Tommy has finally gotten over the hump. Three returns for touchdowns and the super duo running backs held to a combined 9 yards later and we see you got your one big win out of the way early this year. Sadly, I can envision some other program being conned into hiring you again for your last name alone.
5b. Chan Gailey, Georgia Tech: Pretty much the same story as Tommy Bowden. An occasional big win makes people think this team is on its way to something big. Something big that never comes. How a coach can still be employed after having Reggie Ball as a starting quarterback for four years is the real mystery in this picture. Then again, ACC football is the epitome of mediocrity, so coaches like Gailey and Tommy Bowden are perfect for this conference.
On Notice: Lloyd Carr, Michigan – no need to discuss any further; Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – you lucked into a couple good season when Drew Tate came out of nowhere for a couple magical seasons. Well, he vanished from the scene about midway through last season, and so too will you.