Week ending September 16, 2007

Here are your top five NCAA football coaches slowly marching to the gallows.

1. Greg Robinson, Syracuse: The last time a Big East had a cellar dweller this bad the Big East kicked them out and Temple nearly ended up a 1AA. You’ve had your chance Greg. It’s back coordinatorville for you. This is year three of your torture on the Syracuse program. So far your stellar defense has allowed 41, 35, and 42 points to your opponents, and this weekend you travel to Louisville. Better hope the Cards are in hangover mode after that loss to Kentucky. I wouldn’t count on it. UofL might get 60+ this week.

2. Mike Stoops, Arizona: See Greg Robinson. You’re a coordinator, that’s it for you. Embrace what you are. Don’t head down the road of being the Norv Turner of college football. Oh wait, you were 6 – 6 last season? Who cares? You’re in a BCS conference and were bowl eligible and didn’t go to bowl game. The again, one of those wins was against Division 38DDD Stephen F Austin. Yerrrrrrrrrrrrrr outta here.

3. Sylvester Croom, Mississippi State: Hey how about that. You beat Auburn. Golly that’s swell. You’re almost up to ten career wins in your fourth year. It’s year four for you. So far your head coaching career has been one of remarkable consistency. Not many D1A coaches could win exactly three games each and every year. Usually a resume with wins over Florida, Alabama and Auburn would be impressive. How have you managed to make that a sad after thought?

4. Lloyd Carr, Michigan: Isn’t it obvious? Can’t beat your main rival. The alumni have wanted you gone for years. From #5 national champ hype to hoping for a win in conference. Adios Lloyd, ya had a great run. Please, do all of football a favor. Retire. Retire and go on tour giving lectures about when it is appropriate to go for two after a touchdown. Because anytime before the fourth quarter, and even then only when it is absolutely necessary, it is not.

5. Tommy Tuberville, Auburn: No team in college has done more in spite of their coach over the years than Auburn. How bad do the alumni wish they would have stolen Bobby Petrino away a few years ago? How do those two timeouts you took home from the end of the South Florida game look over your mantle?

Wildcard: Charlie Weis, Notre Dame. If the New York Giant finally ditch Tom Coughlin look for Chuck the gut to jump ship. Buying players in college isn’t quite as easy as it is in the pros.