September 28, 2007
wvu -6.5 over USF: USF is the feel good story of the season so far. How-eh-vuh, WVU has White, Slaton (both a year more experienced) and the midget missle Noel Devine loaded and ready for action. It’s a revenge game for the ‘eers and they don’t have any big game distractions coming up for at least three weeks. Take the ‘eers, the points and the over.
alabama +1.5 over FSU: Papa Bowden’s boys have shown, zip, nada and nothing so far this year. Let alone many recent years. Coach Saban seems to have the Tide rolling in the right direction. ‘bama wins this one straight up.
UVA -6 over pitt: Al Groh manages another job saving win. This time over an opponent that for no apparent reason people seem to rate as a decent team. UVA plays very well at home. Pitt is looking to start a true freshman QB. UVA is the easy cover in this one.
lsu -41 over TULANE: Yeah, I’m taking a team to cover 41 points. At this point I think you could swap out LSU and the New Orleans Saints and possibly improve an NFL team. The Tigers have to keep blasting opponents out of the water to keep Oklahoma at bay in the polls. The only way LSU doesn’t cover is if they call off the dogs early to relax and go prepare for the Gators next week.
louisville -8.5 over NC STATE: So, coach O’Brien, you still sure about wanting to move south? Your old BC squad looks like the ACC lock for a BCS bid while your team could easily wrestle away the ACC doormat from Duke. If Louisville doesn’t come into this game pissed off, angry and ready to stomp bunnies their season is over. OVER. UofL wins my a lot more than 8.5.
KENTUCKY -22.5 over fla atlantic: Again, like the LSU game, the only way UK doesn’t cover this game by a lot is if they call off the dogs too early. With South Carolina, LSU and Florida coming up the next three weeks for the Wildcats that is a possibility. That said, you still take UK with the points.
ohio state -23.5 over MINNESOTA: Quietly lurking in the background is an Ohio State team that has been crushing opponents on offense and defense. The Gophers only to chance to beat anyone this season is to outscore them Texas Tech style. That ain’t happening against the Buckeyes. OSU takes this one.
nyj -3.5 over BUFFALO: What some NFL style? This one is by far the lock of the week. Buffalo has lost more players for the year in three weeks than a typical Iraqi IED takes out at the local food zoom.
September 25, 2007
How is it possible that I missed the fact that Sylvester Croom has actually won THREE consecutive games? At least if he loses out the rest of the season he’ll continue his mastery of 3 win season consistency.
September 24, 2007
1. Mike Stoops, Arizona: Mikey, are you doing ok after this weekend? Man, that first quarter must have really hurt. Your defensive genius gave up 45 points to Cal, 28 in the first quarter. How many would Cal have hung on the board if they didn’t call off the dogs after the first fifteen minutes?
2. Greg Robinson, Syracuse: Congratulations Greg. Awesome job this weekend. You and your Orangemen became the NCAA’s biggest ever point spread upset champions. This game was just a little bit of a surprise as I thought Louisville would come into the game hung over from their defeat to Kentucky the previous week, but I certainly didn’t expect UofL to rollover and die like that.
3. Sylvester Croom, Mississippi State: Well well, for the first time since 2004 you’ve won back to back games. That’s some awesome stuff there Sly. But other than UAB coming to town in a couple weeks the rest of your schedule should leave you slayed, flayed and fileted.
4. Tommy Tuberville, Auburn: You won by five touchdowns. That’s outstanding. You won by five touchdowns over New Mexico State. That’s expected. You were losing in the 2nd quarter to New Mexico State. That’s pathetic. The always reliable intartube rumors have you heading to Texas A&M for next season. At this point I know of a few Auburn alumni who are willing to help you move.
5. Lloyd Carr, Michigan: One thing pleases me nearly as much as seeing Notre Dame get beat. And that is seeing Penn State get beat. I nearly moved you off the list altogether for that win this weekend, but once Ohio State comes calling for you in November it’s curtains for you mug.
Charlie Weis, Notre Dame: On a positive note you broke a 119 year old record this week. The bad news is the Giants won this weekend. That’ll make it a little harder for Coughlin to get fired for you. What does your future hold? A real legit possibility of going 0 – 8 to start the year, and a not that huge of a reach of going 0 – 12 for the season. How will Touchdown Jesus feel about losing to Navy and/or Duke?
Mike Leach, Texas Tech: Whoopidee doo, you sure can run up some awesome passing numbers, but you just can’t win dude. Time for this circus pack up and move on.
Norv Turner, San Diego Chargers: Seriously, I don’t know who to fire first in this situation. Norv or whoever came up with the bright idea of even interviewing him. Did you see LT nearly crying at the post game press conference? That’s the only power Norv Turner has as a head coach.
September 21, 2007
Here are your top five NCAA football coaches slowly marching to the gallows.
1. Greg Robinson, Syracuse: The last time a Big East had a cellar dweller this bad the Big East kicked them out and Temple nearly ended up a 1AA. You’ve had your chance Greg. It’s back coordinatorville for you. This is year three of your torture on the Syracuse program. So far your stellar defense has allowed 41, 35, and 42 points to your opponents, and this weekend you travel to Louisville. Better hope the Cards are in hangover mode after that loss to Kentucky. I wouldn’t count on it. UofL might get 60+ this week.
2. Mike Stoops, Arizona: See Greg Robinson. You’re a coordinator, that’s it for you. Embrace what you are. Don’t head down the road of being the Norv Turner of college football. Oh wait, you were 6 – 6 last season? Who cares? You’re in a BCS conference and were bowl eligible and didn’t go to bowl game. The again, one of those wins was against Division 38DDD Stephen F Austin. Yerrrrrrrrrrrrrr outta here.
3. Sylvester Croom, Mississippi State: Hey how about that. You beat Auburn. Golly that’s swell. You’re almost up to ten career wins in your fourth year. It’s year four for you. So far your head coaching career has been one of remarkable consistency. Not many D1A coaches could win exactly three games each and every year. Usually a resume with wins over Florida, Alabama and Auburn would be impressive. How have you managed to make that a sad after thought?
4. Lloyd Carr, Michigan: Isn’t it obvious? Can’t beat your main rival. The alumni have wanted you gone for years. From #5 national champ hype to hoping for a win in conference. Adios Lloyd, ya had a great run. Please, do all of football a favor. Retire. Retire and go on tour giving lectures about when it is appropriate to go for two after a touchdown. Because anytime before the fourth quarter, and even then only when it is absolutely necessary, it is not.
5. Tommy Tuberville, Auburn: No team in college has done more in spite of their coach over the years than Auburn. How bad do the alumni wish they would have stolen Bobby Petrino away a few years ago? How do those two timeouts you took home from the end of the South Florida game look over your mantle?
Wildcard: Charlie Weis, Notre Dame. If the New York Giant finally ditch Tom Coughlin look for Chuck the gut to jump ship. Buying players in college isn’t quite as easy as it is in the pros.